But that's a different matter.
Today, I picked from the list and now I'm going to tell you about the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. It's another case of Scientists being...special.
American Entymologist Justin Schmidt, who died in 2023, got himself purposefully stung/bit by over a thousand insects so he could tell you how painful they are in comparison. To be sure, those thousand+ stings came from 83 types of ant/bee/wasp, so he didn't one-and-done them, and he probably reminded himself of relative pain levels several times so he didn't inflate them in his memory or have a particularly strong/weak bug for the only example.
Like several other historical scientists, I just have one question. Why?
Ok, so I actually can answer that kinda. That's information that can actually help later. The scale only goes from 1-4, with one being pretty painless and four being intensely painful.
The really hilarious part though, is how he describes them. It's not just a number, he's...poetic about it. And hilarious.
Here's an example of one that I actually know, and I'll disagree. It's not that bad.
2.0 -- Yellow jacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine W.C. Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue.
Going by last time I got bit, I'd say it's more like...a drop of boiling oil that hits your arm when you don't have time to wipe it off. That could be just me though.
He puts the Bald Faced Hornet at the same level as Yellow Jacket, but my Dad, who has been bit by both, says the hornet is a lot worse.
I kinda like the description for the Fierce Black Polybia Wasp. Despite it being a 2.5, it's described as 'A ritual gone wrong, satanic. The gas lamp in the old church explodes in your face when you light it.' And I just like that it's not bad, but he called it satanic. He might have been getting that idea from the looks of it though, which you can see in the picture below from the Missoula Butterfly House.
The highest his scale goes is to 4. After reading his descriptions, I'm more than happy to not go near those dudes. It started with just the Bullet Ant, but it's expanded from there to a few other 4s.
4.0 -- Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail in your heel.
4.0 -- Warrior Wasp: Torture. You are chained in the flow of an active volcano. Why did I start this list?
If you just want a visual representation of it, try this link to Compound Chem, who have a PDF of it drawn up for those who like bubbles.
I can think of a lot of things I'd do for science, but...not that. Props to the guy that did, along with a recommendation to talk to a psychiatrist. Or three.
While you consider this and probably stare thoughtfully at the nearest ant/bee/etc, I'm going to go try not to have nightmares about this. Seeya again soon.
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